Past few entries:

I suck, you suck, everything sucks - 2005-03-17

Hurray! - 2005-02-22

Good year coming - 2005-02-10

Fat - 2005-01-27

Bleh - 2005-01-11

Other lovely places to visit:

Andrew
Dave
Diaryland
Hangtime
Jackson
Jeffy
Loobylu
Lurgee
Marn
Neonjunkie
Out of order
She speaks good english
Spacegirl
Tanzy
Velcrometer

2004-12-13

I would have to say that the worst exam I have ever experienced in my life happened today. I felt like a complete idiot during the oral exam and couldn't answer any of the questions that my examiner asked me. And then as if I didn't feel bad enough, he said at the end of the exam, "There are some definite gaps in your knowledge."

It got even worse because I came out and saw two people from my team, who asked me how it was and I almost burst into tears right there. It was totally unprofessional and there is no reason to be so emotional about these things. (Well, at least in public. I subsequently went home for half an hour to cry my little heart out. Good thing I live so close to the hospital.)

After regaining some of my sanity, I thought about my exam and got kind of angry. Many of the questions he asked were ridiculous for my level of training. I talked to some supervisors about it in the afternoon and thankfully they concurred. Apparently, they had a feeling prior to the exam that he was going to be terrible but I guess they were short of examiners so they put him in anyway. I was assured by the course coordinator at my hospital that this examiner will never do these exams again. And I didn't have to rewrite my exam unless I really wanted to (I definitely do not).

I have had such bad luck in my hospital rotations so far that I don't know if I have much energy to play this game anymore. This has been a very trying 12 weeks, and there is another 6.5 more years of this ahead. I'm tired. It feels like some greater force is trying to tell me that medicine is not for me and I should quit. If it doesn't get better, I would have to agree.